Monday, April 27, 2009

Freedom...Release



"Freedom" ~Run Kid Run

This is such an awesome and beautiful song. For the longest time, I wasn't able to hear what the song was saying, until I saw this video that actually had the lyrics xD... but yeahs, thank you Vivian for showing this song to us months ago during worship team orientations :]. As Christians, we know that ultimately our sins and shortcomings will be, in the end, compeletely and wholly stripped away. Sometimes though, it feels that though Christ has taken away all that keeps us from Him, we're the ones holding onto what keeps us from drawing closer and completely trusting Him. Why do we hold on to these things? Why can't we just let go? And why is it so hard? My spirit is willing but my body is weak...or is my spirit even willing? "Oh(All) my chains, I can't disengage...and I don't believe that I want to. One hand sings Your praise, the other brings me shame...I have selfishness to blame..."

For myself, sometimes I just feel so overcome with my own selfishness, yet I feel like somehow I am just holding onto it...it's not God's fault, it's my own. I know in my heart that what Christ did on the cross two-thousand years ago did it completely for me; I am to God His child, by His grace...and sometimes I forget that I, in actually since I've been a Christian, always have bEEN free. (Thank you Michelle for your old MTB post reminding me of this xD). But (why) do I hold on to my chains of putting my self before God? "I keep holding my chains, no longer bound but here I stay."

God reminds me...that in the end, there's only love. In Christ I have life, and what I need to do is let go, die, to my old self and grab hold of the new life He's set before me. I know I don't feel it in the actual moments of dispair...but I do know that when I get out, that line rings true: "Dispair has come so you can see...release...". God will see us through all our pains, I trust and believe; even the ones we put upon ourselves. His love has no bounds.

Done xD.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Time



"Time" - by Pink Floyd

You should check out the lyrics to this song--they're AMAZING! lyrics

I was reading my Bible this morning, and I was reminded of this song as I read the following verses from Ephesians 5:15-17: "Be very careful, then, how you live-- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

"I wish I had more time." Those are six words I find myself saying a lot nowadays. Time is very fragile; it comes and is gone in the very next instant. (It is also very confusing. There's a section in my physics book about the relativity of time...I don't understand it.) I have come to realize, though, that the problem isn't that I don't have enough time, but rather that I don't make the best use of my time. I am privileged to be given so many opportunities to do a plethora of things: everything from receiving a supreme education at one of the best public high schools, to participating in sports teams (softball and volleyball), to being involved in the high school fellowship leadership, to playing on the worship team, among other things. The thing is, however, that I can't do everything in the finite period of time allotted for these activities. Moreover, I'm having difficulty discerning whether or not everything I do is necessary--i.e. "understand[ing] what the Lord's will is."

Despite the multitude of opportunities before me, I can't help but feel like the time in my life is slipping by--that I am not using my time to its fullest potential. I am pleased to say that procrastination has become less of a problem for me (at least in terms of schoolwork), but I think my problem lies now in saturating my life with too many activities. I am so overwhelmed that I leave no time to listen to God's voice. It's funny, actually. Before, I also felt like I was letting my life slip by idly, so I took it upon myself to pick up all of these things that would supposedly "draw me to God" (i.e. all these church-related activities). But all it did was overwhelm me with stress, and actually distanced me from God's voice. It's like the third verse in the song: "so you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking..." Well, no, actually, the whole song kind of reflects the situation. I love this song.

Please pray for me.

Do you feel like your life is slipping by idly? Here's Ephesians 5:15-17 again:

"Be very careful, then, how you live-- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

Sunday, April 12, 2009

stand amazed - 33miles



Good Friday made me reflect on how long I have been a christian. It is funny because I do know that I haven't been a christian in a long period of time unlike the other people at church. Within that time I went through a lot......and it has only been like one year (i think)! Well, one year is only the beginning! hopefully it can be Two years, three years........99 years (if i do live up to that age). The older generation at church is an inspiration because it shows that it is possible to continue this journey with God as a companion despite any circumstances. "let this be the prayer that I speak"....."so that I will always stand amazed."

I don't really know how long forever is
But that's how long I'm gonna give my life
Everything I face that tries to tear me down
No I won't back away from the sacrifice
I won't forget what your love means to me
You're always there to light my way

(Chorus)
When all the lights go down and the world is quiet
No one is around
I wanna be the same man that'll serve you then
Like I serve you now
That my convictions never change
O let my need for you remain
As real as the moment I was saved
So I will always stand amazed

Sometimes my heart desires such selfish things
When the moment comes help me to trust
Something better that you have for me
If I could just hold on to you enough
I won't forget what you're love means to me
You're always there to light my way

(Chorus)

You will be my strength when I am weak
When I wanna give in and not turn the other cheek
Let this be the prayer that I speak
That I speak

(Chorus)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

You Found Me



This song (You Found Me - The Fray) is a very meaningful song to me. The first time i heard it, i received mixed messages because i didnt really understand it... But when i discovered more of the meanings behind it and when i interpreted it in my way, it shows me so much... I think a lot of us believe that this world is our own... that we have a right to everything... and sometimes, we feel like God has deserted us at times we needed Him most. When i listened to this song, it made me understand what God actually does for us.

It's like the footprints in the sand parable. God doesn't ever desert us, but he's actually carrying us through every tough situation. We often think, "hey, where'd you go when i needed you? those were my times of trial, but i only see one set of footprints." Little do we know that those were Gods feet when our own two couldn't carry the burdens.

Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of First and Amistad

^ in this part of the song, i believe that it portrays our common thinking, that God was never there, and that he wasn't reaching out his had for us. In truth, he was carrying us in the palms of his hands.

In the 2nd verse, it says:

In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who's ever known
Who I am
Who I'm not, who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

And then the chorus says:

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

"Losing her, the only one who's ever known..." When we lose the comforts of life, or the securities in this world, we can't help but think that there's nothing left for us... we have built so much on the temporary things in life. But at the last moment, guess what... God sweeps us up into his arms and carries us... He finds us in the midst of our times of struggle...
But what do we think? we often think "why couldn't you have saved me earlier, so i wouldn't have had to go through these struggles?" But you know what? God knew where we were from the very start...

Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all my world

This song seems to be telling us that "God didnt find us in time..." What i believe that it's actually telling us is that we need to realize that it's NOT God that didnt find us... it's us who need to find God...

mehh...sorry, this is sort of a confusing post... well, hopefully it'll just help you realize how much God has given us, and that WE need to find God...because...

You found me... You found me......