Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Despite the Infection Within...
"Deteriorate" ~Demon Hunter
I've been wanting to share this song for a while. The verses and prechorus really speak to me, because it's how I'd been feeling for a little while recently. After several events that God's allowed me to go through: disappointment, confusion, and intellectual paralysis had led me to be completely consumed in my inability to understand God's will or strength in my life. The doubts crept up on me and covered my eyes, so I felt like I wasn't listening to any other voice except Satan's whispers. In those days, I was praying the prechorus while I was showered:
I need a heart
that carries on through the pain
when the walls start collapsing again.
Give me a soul
that never ceases to follow
despite the infection within
What I didn't understand at the time was that, despite my rationalizing and intellectualizing, God had never left me. I believe that He meant for me to go through this, and wanted me to cry out to him that I would learn how to trust Him in spite of myself. Praise God He's led me out of those really dry spots to see that the infection within me is meant to make me rely on His grace and love =].
Mm..yeah. I think one thing way that God has shown me His love is through people praying for me and just listening to me. For all of you brothers and sisters in Christ who take care of me and pray for me, thank you for showing me how God's love goes deeper than my pain, and thank you for being a part of God's healing processes :].
Being honest here though, I'm still trying to figure out what the chorus might mean (><.) If anybody has any idea about what it might mean, please leave a comment on your thoughts. :].
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1 comment:
Hey homie T
Wow...such an interesting song you have there. I am glad to hear that even in your lowest moments, you still have faith in God xD That's very encouraging to hear especially for someone who is sometimes overly sensitive and emotional xP. It's nice to know that your eyes are still open for God even though sometimes Satan clouds your view with with hurtful words and hurtful other things.
Okay...I am going to take a stab at interpreting the chorus. It might not make sense, but I will try. The message I get from the chorus is that we are naturally lost. We alone are careless. Sometimes we are unaware of how we are sinking in "fragile dirt" that we put ourselves in. It connects to the pre-chorus because basically the pre-chorus is saying how God is the strength that releases us from this bleh we feel at times. He is our escape "despite the infection within." When we are stuck in mud, He is the hope that tells us that we will be free...I don't know haha. If I come up with something else, I will make sure I will tell you about it. This band really knows how to use their words.=P
Thank you for this song Tim! Your posts are always an inspiration to me. I'll be praying for you. You need to keep fighting....You will get out of all your bleh because God is on your side. You will be fine. I trust that God has you in His hands. He won't let you go....He loves you too much. yep yep
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