Secrets

"Secrets" ~One Republic

Sometimes I leave my guard up for way too long around others, and then try to be what I'm really not. I try to cover up all my stupid mistakes and my weaknesses and pretend that they don't exist. Or at least ignore them. Cuz I think there's this innate desire to make everyone think I'm without fail; that i'm funny enough, smart enough, spiritual enough, pure enough.

But God sees past all my acts, all my facades, and knows me as I am. While there's a sort of nakedness in that, it's really comforting to know it. That he sees all of that ugliness and STILL loves me. sigh. In fact, Paul says that he REJOICES in his weaknesses! 2 Cor 12:8-10: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it [my weakness] away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

And I think God is calling me to not try and keep up that image around my brothers and sisters and everyone else too. Hopefully I can boast in my weaknesses, like Paul, so to give Jesus all the glory when something awesome happens. Even if they DO judge me, I know that my heart and life is secure in Christ. I'm sick of all the insincere, don't need another lie, don't care if critics critique. I'll keep trying to be honestly me with God and you.