Dirty Shoes

Link to Songhttp://politiik.xanga.com/audio/1161c3857572/

"Dirty Shoes" - by Tim Be Told
Lyrics: http://www.timbetold.com/LyricsDirtyShoes.html

Hi, there. This song really strikes a chord in me. It's a pretty straightforward song in terms of the meaning, but I really like the way the lyrics are written. The one line that particularly catches my ears is the part in the bridge that goes: "the halo 'round my head is a good toy." The bridge as a whole actually strikes me. It's so easy for me as a churched teenager to elevate myself to a "holier than thou" mindset over those who party, or those who stay out late, or those who are involved in a sexually active relationship--those people whose lives deviate even slightly from my "ideal," churched lifestyle. "Yes, these people certainly need Jesus in their lives," my mind would muse. And then, at high school fellowship, how easy again as a leader in the group, to put up a saintly facade as if I were more Godly than my brothers and sisters, especially those who weren't official "leaders." All that without even recognizing--well, maybe recognizing--but not acknowledging to my brothers and sisters that I am just as wretched, that I am just as dirty. I'm tired now of hiding my "dirty shoes"for so long now.

Little boy, whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do with all those dirty shoes?
Hide 'em in a room, yeah?
Leave 'em out of view, you got a lot to lose

Well, that's what I've been doing in high school. It's difficult for me to do. Hiding it in a little private room does nothing for me; Jesus still knows. I need Jesus's grace just as much as those whom I had stupidly deemed "ungodly heathens." What are my "dirty shoes"? I'll tell you (as difficult as it is for me)... I've been caught in the world of internet pornography for most of my high school career, and it's something that I still struggle with today. Am I ashamed? Of course. Romans 7:15-25 lays out the struggle of sin. But 1Peter 3:18 also says that "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righeous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit." And Paul also writes in Romans 5:8 that "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." I hold onto that--trying to understand God's love and grace.

So there it is. This is just one pair of my dirty shoes. But God's gonna make it clean. I'm holding onto that...