Saturday, July 31, 2010

You're Beautiful



"You're Beautiful" ~Phil Wickham

This was one of the first "new" worship songs that I heard when checking out churches in San Diego. I'm not exactly sure what drew me to this song, but I really like it. It could be the poetic verses, describing the His works. Or it might be the wordless chorus, where I feel like my heart can sing to God in it's own way, in whatever state it might be in. When you listen to this song, go ahead and just meditate on God's amazingness =]. This song is simple adoration to God.

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It's all proclaiming who you are
You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful

I see Your face, I see Your face, I see Your face
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Buried Alive



~Chris and Conrad, "Buried Alive"

Needless to say, I really like this song (haha). I wasn't exactly sure why, but this song really caught my attention the first time I heard it. After listening to it a couple times and understanding what it means, I found that its lyrics were related to what God was teaching me at the time (and is still teaching me), and that is how to be honest about ourselves with God, others, and ourselves. That lesson also forces me to face-up with the reality of being human, and letting go of this image that I've got it all together.


We've all broken ground.
Take one look around.
We're in over our heads and we keep digging down
We've all broken ground.
Making sure that nobody sees the dirt on our face
that just would not come clean
and hoping that this is the day
when everything changes..


I know that for myself, I often times try to maintain myself; try to make it seem like I've got myself collected and cool. Trying to keep up this image that I've so well convinced everybody else of. Whether it's the role being the "Spiritual" one, "Funny" one, "Cool", "Smart", etc., there are so many masks to put on. And how often I try to cover up myself, and not let anyone see what's going on... trying to fool people (and myself) into believing in this 'Tim' who's not even real. And I believe God's calling me to be honest and real. This song deals with just that fact that sometimes our life on the inside is the complete opposite from 'having it altogether', buried alive by all the crud we go through.

We take one last breath as the walls cave right in
Cover our heads as the weight of this world
comes crashing down...again..
And the last ray of light can no longer be found
And with no point of reference to find our way out
Scream out loud
Does anyone know that we are
Buried alive?


The chorus was the first thing that really stuck out to me, because it's this strong and terrible image of being in a dirt hole with everything caving in.. There is no more light, you can't tell which way is up because you're so far down, and you're losing hope that anyone could ever find you in this hole you've found yourself in. It really hit me that everybody, whether apparent on the outside or not, has those days where everything for them seems to be caving in. Whether relationally, emotionally, circumstantially, etc etc. I think everyone's been there before. It's an experience I believe we've all shared at some point in our lives. It just comes with being human, you know?

We all know the sound
We've been hunted down
and we all sing along from the moment we're found
We all know the sound.


I also noticed that unlike Chris and Conrad's other songs, this song didn't seem to have any reference to God. And for a while, I didn't understand what the second verse was talking about, but after listening more, I found the hint of hope that I couldn't previously find. When I listened this line, "we've been hunted down" over and over again, eventually a new image came to my mind. Putting ourselves back in the hopeless image of being completely swallowed by the dirt, what if all of a sudden we heard the sound of the soil being moved? And finally, after so long, you see the light, as it turns out there's been someone digging deep down to where you were in search for you. And when He finds you, the first thing He does is wraps His strong arms around your feeble body and holds you. I believe Jesus did and still does this for us.. this beautiful thought how we are not forgotten or lost, how our Jesus digs so deep down to find us and save us from our dirt. I love it =]. (Another image I love is how we're lost in a crowd, with a body from every side suffocating us, but God pushes His way through all of them to find us and hold us tight.)


So yeah..I had a lot to say about this song, haha. Hopefully the next time you see me, you'll catch me being myself, and not trying to put up a front. I know that I'm sometimes caught in this state of being buried alive too.. this song reminds me that Someone does hear me from deep down in the earth when I scream out loud. And if you ask me, I pray that I won't just try to wipe off the dirt from my face, but share with you this beautiful state of being human. (hehe, cheesy, but i mean it =].)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Will You Be There?




"Will You Be There" - by Skillet


A couple nights ago, I gave Skillet's Alien Youth album a listen. I'll be brief and to the point, because there's just so much about this album that I love. I was greatly moved when I listened to this one particular song.

I'll be honest. For most of this past year or so, my relationship with God was extremely fragile and unstable. I was disciplined to memorize Bible verses, and though I memorized them verbatim, for some, I didn't allow the time to sink in. For example, God promises in John 1:12-13: "Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God--children born not of natural descent, nor of human derision or a husband's will, but born of God." The implications and power behind these verses are grand beyond measure. One of my favorite passages is Deuteronomy 8, which reminds God's people of His power and His goodness. Please read it for yourself before continuing:


Just as the close of the chapter warns against, unfortunately, this past year, I recognize how I have come to "worship" and elevate two things to the status of "gods": my schoolwork and my best friend. By investing so much energy and "worship" into idols, however, my faith in God remains in constant flux--at times, strong and enduring, but at other times, dwindling. I found myself at some extremely low points in which I questioned God's hand in my life, and the security I have in Him. This song illustrates beautifully the desperation I felt at many times: "Will You be there as I grow cold / will you be there as I'm falling down?... / When I'm in retreat, can I run to You / Will my pain release at Your mercy seat?"

What I love in this song is the bridge that gives an answer to these uncertainties:

Are You saying, "Yes"
Oh, I gotta believe it!
Are you saying yeah
When Your love falls down I can rest my eyes
Feel Your grace and power flood into my life
As my brokenness and Your strength collide
When Your love comes down
Falling down!

God, it takes faith. But God, I gotta believe it! Please pray for me. Thanks.

[Like Tim, I want to thank those of you who read this far. XD]

Monday, July 5, 2010

One Life To Love



~33 Miles, "One Life To Love"

I just wanted to share another song, and this one played on the radio recently. I used to play this song over and over and over, and each time, it would make me want to cry because of the bitter reality that we only really get one chance at this life to love on people. It's like a splash of cold water for me, reminding me of my purpose here and snapping me out of my complacency to withhold my love from the people God has blessed me with. Hopefully it'll remind me to love you as well! =].

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Spirit, take me Up in arms with You

In the middle of Winter Quarter of my freshman year..I can't remember exactly when... but there was a time when I could (I'm nearly certain) see God weaving together a bunch of events in my life to get a certain message across to me. While I was going through that, I wanted to write a facebook note about it.. but laziness won and ate up that.. so I'm gonna share it here instead. I also can't remember the exact sequence of events, but i'll try my best to recall correctly.


Anyways, the adults in Cumberland were going through a book called "The Unexpected Adventure", which was an awesome book which gave practical perspectives on how to share your faith with others. I haven't been able to finish it yet, but while I was going through it, I definitely felt the tug on my heart to go share Christ with people at UCSD, specifically my with my 4 (yes, f-o-u-r x]) roommates. To live my faith out-loud in a sense. What the book said was that, if our lives are centered around making Jesus famous, by an internal drive to tell people about Jesus, our lives would never be boring. In fact, it would be the complete opposite: an unexpected adventure. A life on the edge for Jesus (cheesy, but seriously, that's what I felt haha.)

It was during this time that I rediscovered this song, "24" by Switchfoot. And boy, did this song mean a lot for me.



I'm singing, Spirit, take me up in arms with You..
and You're raising the dead in me.
oOo, I am the second man now.


Gah, there's really so much to say about this song.. (like the connection between this song and the story in Genesis of Jacob wrestling God in the desert, and also the fact that the writer of this song wrote this song in light of his 24th birthday.) BUT I'll attempt to stay ontrack, haha. I felt that this song, especially the chorus, is an honest plea to God for Him to take us with Him on this amazing adventure He has in store for us! Asking Him to use us in spite of our blahness. Ultimately, it's also asking God to put us in our place. When God touched Jacob's hip-bone, it crippled Jacob, showing him that he is not First anymore, but that God is. The first step in this great life with the adventure of telling people about Jesus is understanding that we are the "second man", while Jesus is the First. Our wants, desires, needs, all come second to His glory.

Finally, also as I was going through this book, my dorm-floor one night was having a showing of the movie "Up" by Pixar. And if ya'll know me, I LOVE to analyze the heck out of books, music, movies, etc. (For those of you who haven't seen the movie yet, go watch it!! It's pretty awesome. Skip to the next paragraph if you fall under said catagory, because there shall be spoilers involved in this one X].) Now, for those of you who have seen it, check this out :]. The entire movie revolves around the concept of living for Adventure. One recurring phrase written all over the place (the blimp, the book, and more) is "The Spirit of Adventure". Take a look at the two main old-men characters, Carl Fredrickson (the good guy) and Charles Muntz: both have gone through many adventures in their life, have also experienced a lot of pain, and both are somewhat unable to let go of their past adventures. Mr.Fredrickson can't see the blessing of his new friends, and Muntz is obsessed with reclaiming his old glory and can't let go, like the bones in his blimp. A defining moment in the plot is when Mr.Fredrickson, after reading his wife's message to "go have his own adventures", throws out everything in his beloved house in order to save Russel.


This is where I gotta be honest. I'm sad and embarrassed that I've let this vision die. While going through this book, I boldly prayed that God would somehow have my roommates and I pray to Him together at least once in my freshman year. This unfortunately didn't happen. And honestly, I can't say that I gave it my all. I let it die, after being scared 'back into my hole'. But that offer for the Spirit to take me up in arms with Him still tastes so good.

Please pray for me to seek once again to have this passion for spreading Jesus's name, and patience for these passions to stir again. Also, I invite any of you who (so awesomely) read this far to keep me accountable. Ask me about it. Talk to me about it. It's gonna hurt if I can't look at you in the face and honestly say I've done something about it, but I think it's supposed to hurt like that. But I think maybe God showed me that "Up" movie to remind me to let go of the past and look forward, to the other great adventures God has in store.
I'm not copping out..
..not copping out..
and You're raising the dead in me


[i always feel the need to thank whoever reads this far, so THANK YOU =]. God bless!]