Monday, January 17, 2011

Secrets



"Secrets" ~One Republic

Sometimes I leave my guard up for way too long around others, and then try to be what I'm really not. I try to cover up all my stupid mistakes and my weaknesses and pretend that they don't exist. Or at least ignore them. Cuz I think there's this innate desire to make everyone think I'm without fail; that i'm funny enough, smart enough, spiritual enough, pure enough.

But God sees past all my acts, all my facades, and knows me as I am. While there's a sort of nakedness in that, it's really comforting to know it. That he sees all of that ugliness and STILL loves me. sigh. In fact, Paul says that he REJOICES in his weaknesses! 2 Cor 12:8-10: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it [my weakness] away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

And I think God is calling me to not try and keep up that image around my brothers and sisters and everyone else too. Hopefully I can boast in my weaknesses, like Paul, so to give Jesus all the glory when something awesome happens. Even if they DO judge me, I know that my heart and life is secure in Christ. I'm sick of all the insincere, don't need another lie, don't care if critics critique. I'll keep trying to be honestly me with God and you.

2 comments:

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

I think this is true of me: I'm not judgmental of others because I don't want others to be judgmental of me. In actuality, I am judgmental, because I am always comparing people to JESUS. And heh, well, people are rather far from being Jesus. I just don't want to own up to my own hypocrisies. Oh, how I dislike being called a hypocrite, more so than BEING a hypocrite!

How heavy you must have been. It's as though the million eyes that watched over you overpowered God's eyes. Hehe, just because we can't see God doesn't mean He can't see us. For some reason, we keep thinking that empathizing with God can lead us to a complete understanding of God's mind. He's got a mind of his own!

A reputation is harder to maintain than to build because people let the one thing you do out of character define you. Don't we keep falling back to the illusion that God sees us in the same way people do? hence, a good reputation among our peers and society is congruent to the way God sees us. And then we'll have hardly any faults; we unknowingly try to redeem ourselves. But if God looked at us without Jesus factored in, we'd be at the top of the FBI's wanted list. But that's not the way God looks at us; He looks at us WITH Jesus factored in. Rather, the former point of view is that of people. People don't pair Jesus with the people they look at, thinking the harder to reach their standards are, the closer to God's point of view theirs are. Aren't we fortunate to have Jesus?

Thank you for being honest with your imcompleteness, Tim. I'm anticipating the days when we share mistakes :P