Monday, January 17, 2011

Secrets



"Secrets" ~One Republic

Sometimes I leave my guard up for way too long around others, and then try to be what I'm really not. I try to cover up all my stupid mistakes and my weaknesses and pretend that they don't exist. Or at least ignore them. Cuz I think there's this innate desire to make everyone think I'm without fail; that i'm funny enough, smart enough, spiritual enough, pure enough.

But God sees past all my acts, all my facades, and knows me as I am. While there's a sort of nakedness in that, it's really comforting to know it. That he sees all of that ugliness and STILL loves me. sigh. In fact, Paul says that he REJOICES in his weaknesses! 2 Cor 12:8-10: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it [my weakness] away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

And I think God is calling me to not try and keep up that image around my brothers and sisters and everyone else too. Hopefully I can boast in my weaknesses, like Paul, so to give Jesus all the glory when something awesome happens. Even if they DO judge me, I know that my heart and life is secure in Christ. I'm sick of all the insincere, don't need another lie, don't care if critics critique. I'll keep trying to be honestly me with God and you.

More Like Falling In Love



"More Like Falling In Love" ~Jason Gray

I think God sent me this song at a very appropriate time of my life. Sometime last quarter, I got very caught up in moralism, focusing too much on the "doing" and "works." I heard this song, and the lightbulb went on; something like God's light, revealing to me that I was trying to obey God out of my own strength. I prayed (and continue to pray) that instead, I'll fall in love with Him =].

It's gotta be
more like falling in love
than something to believe in
more like losing my heart
than giving my allegiance
caught up, called out
come take a look at me now
it's like i'm falling in love


I also really like these lines in particular:
"I need more than a truth to believe, I need a truth that lives, moves and breathes, to sweep me off my feet"
"..cuz all religion ever made of me was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet.. It never set me free."

They describe very nicely about how I want to see my relationship with God: not simply thoughtless obedience, but His love sweeping me off my feet. And understanding that my religiosity doesn't save me, but in fact does the opposite. It's His love that frees me =]. yay!

Your Love



"Your Love" ~Brandon Heath

This song has been an amazing source of encouragement for me for the past few MONTHs, especially from the chorus. SO many times, I forget the amazingness of God's love. I forget that it's all I ever needed: where i find my strength, value, motivation, EVERYthing.

You're the hope in the morning
You're the light when the night is falling
You're the song when my heart is singing,
It's Your love
You're the eyes to the blind man
You're the feet to the lame man walking
You're song of the people singing
It's Your love


I love the bridge :]. Sometimes, I dread waking up to the grind of another day, but yet my God is my hope. At those low moments of darkness, confusion, and sadness, He is the light. And those times when my heart is overjoyed? You can find that all pointed back to God! He gives sight to this blind man and moves the feet of this crippled person, and does the same for others =]. His love is amazing.

It's a pretty simple concept, but I love it; His love is awesome =]. Hope you're blessed!