"here I am" - Downhere

To be honest, I haven't been spending a good amount of time listening to music, so that's why I haven't been able to post a new song. I actually wrote this on 12/24/09...a long time ago. I wanted to go back to an old draft that I started, but never really got to finish. I really do like this song and as I listen to it now, I realize how it also relates to what I am currently going through. I find it funny how I can use this one song and relate it to two different events in my life.

Right now, I feel pretty empty. Life is good...i have everything i could possibly need or maybe even want, but I want more. I wish that I was more productive. Rather than hanging out with friends, i want to volunteer, have a job, or maybe even evangelize (like the theme from retreat =P). It's kind of a long story, but it's gone to the point where I feel like I wouldn't want the typical American lifestyle (family, suburbia, job)...although there's nothing wrong with it. It is really a long story and if you really want to know, just ask me! But yeah....somehow God placed the word, "missionary", into my head. Okay, I don't know where I am going with this. Anyways, I hope that you can see how all of this connects to the song. The last three paragraphs were written a long time ago...I am leaving it as it is, so that means I did not edit it! Sorry for the long and messy post...I am tired now. Thanks for reading! =]



It amazes me to know that God crafts my life in a way that is different from everyone else's. Through all the struggles, low and high moments of my life, God was always there whether or not I acknowledged His existence. This song relates to certain events that I went through lately. For example, the lines: "Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness. And the fear that I'll fail You in the end. In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces, I can't put this together but You can," relates to my grandpa's situation. The words fit into this struggle perfectly. I was weak and afraid of failure and disappointing others, but God got me through. What I went through serves a piece of my relationship with God. I know that

This song reflects a lot of what I've been going through lately. With my grandpa and other similar situations, I was succumbed into this fear of failing what I was called to do. I do notice that I am the type of person that likes to "go with the flow." There's a part of me that relied a lot on God to carry out His plan without my help. This is the reason why I sometimes lack the motivation to for example plan for certain events . Failure or success, God knew what was going to happen before I even started planning. In many ways, if my grandpa did not receive Christ in his life, then I knew that I couldn't change what God has planned. With this thinking, I let life take its course. Despite all that, time killed me. Waiting for death is no fun at all. Although I knew that there was a possibility that my grandpa could have received Christ without my help, I also knew that I was letting others do that instead of me. My excuses were that I was not ready or I was too weak or I just didn't know what to do. I soon got angry with my idleness because at the same time, I acknowledged the fact that God moves through people. I used God's sovereignty over everything as an excuse to do nothing. It's the same way I rely on others to make things better for me.

I really want this one particular friend to receive Christ. In a way, I relate to her a lot. She questions me a lot about Christianity. The line: "somehow my story is part of Your plan," really hits me. I've gone through a lot and it is thanks to this reminder that God uses my life to somehow fit into where His plan is going. I think my friend can relate a lot to my testimony. I think she believes that I can never understand what she goes through sometimes. With my testimony, she can see that I do understand and I now know what to do about it.

How He Loves Us

Yay, another great worship song! =D.

This is "How He Loves", written by John Mark McMillan, covered by David Crowder Band. but WAIT, before you play the song, I want to ask you to try something: try closing your eyes, or spacing out, so you could focus on the words in your head instead of reading them. Allow the words just sink in your mind & heart.



yeah..

The imagery in this song is so..wow. The very first line is the one that almost everybody will remember: "He is jealous of me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree; bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy." God's love is so strong, and so AL;KJFGA;JFAW! Really though. Though words cannot explain the greatness of God's love, this song puts it in a way for us to remind us that He really DOES love us! How often do we forget that? SO often, for me. "Oh, how He loves us so.. Oh how He loves us.. how He loves us so." I realize that I never deserved such a love. Its so overwhelming.

In our hearts, I pray that we can worship HIM with a full heart, knowing that He gaves His only Son to die for us, and continually blesses and loves us unconditionally!



Oh, and by the way, here is a link to the Official Music Video of the song for David Crowder Band. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJyW55AXJAk . If you have time, I really encourage you to check it out. I gotta let you know, its a little strange...and it didn't really click for me the first time, especially during the chorus. But now, when I see the band members (comically :]) completely flipping out, I realize that it's a kind of reaction we would have if we understand just how much God REALLY loves us! How could we possibly keep it inside?

"YEAH HE LOVES US!! OHHH HOW HE LOVES US!! OOH HOW HE LOVES US!! OOHHH HOW HE LOVES!!!"

=]. God loves you!

You loved a people undeserving!

"To Know Your Name" ~Hillsong

This is one of the new worship songs that God's blessed me with while at UCSD. It's been an awesome song, just reminding me of how God is so good... Mmhmm. A simple song, telling the gospel in its simplest form, while telling some of the most profound mysteries our minds can('t) handle. Why should we, the sinful rebellious creations, deserved to be loved in such a manner by a holy and just Creator? That He would send His Son for us, to knowingly die for us? Life, only through Him.. isn't God SO good? =].

You loved..You loved
a people undeserving

Remain

Hi guys! Haven't really posted for...months x_x. so yeahs, remember that this site still is open for any/all sharing =].

"Remain" ~Starfield



I don't have too much too deep at the moment about this song, but every time I listen to this song, my heart is refocused back onto our God who is SO faithful, and whose power, justice, love NEVER changes. "When all else fades"; when all our intellect fails us, when we feel completely alone, when nothing seems to be going right... "You remain!" Look to the sky, and proclaim to aLL creation, "YOU are good!", "There is NONE like You!" :]..

what a glorious security we have in Jesus Christ. Amen.


Defender of this heart
You loved me from the start
You never change

Through the highs and lows
As seasons come and go
You never fail

[PreChorus:]
Day after day
Your love will remain
Faithful and true
You are good

[Chorus:]
You are God with us
You're victorious
You are strong and mighty to save
For Your word stands true
There is none like You
And when all else fades
You remain

When troubles come my way
You guide and You sustain
Lead me, I pray

Forever You will be
The great eternal King
Now and always

Beautiful Ending

So tell me what is our ending
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful

As I was listening to my iTunes, I realized that I haven't really updated my songs that much... and I decided to do some youtube searching... I came across this song by Barlowgirl. To me, it speaks millions.

Oh why do I let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars and holds tears that fall
And the brighter my heart makes me forget
It's not me but you
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without you
You're dying for me

So tell me what is our ending
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful
Will my life find me by your side
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful

At the end of it all I wanna be in your arms

In my life, I am just like the child in this music video. There are little distractions, little temptations, little curiosities that draw me away from God. All I want at that moment is to obtain my desires. Yet the more I continue being distracted, the more lost I get. It's like I'm plunging into the forest and I dont know my way back. But when I feel like I'm at my limit, when I feel like I can't search anymore or find my way out of it..., there's always God. It's not that He has ever been absent in my life, but it's that I haven't always been looking for Him. So it's then that I find God, who points me in the right direction... He leads me where I need to go... He guides my way. That's where I want to be...

At the end of it all I want to be in Your arms...

not so much a song...

but it's worth a few minutes of your time for perspective about life

My friend Bernice sent me this song and it was God's perfect timing for me to receive it.

I've been trying really hard to be thorough at work but this time I felt like it was beyond my control. For some reason the machine I setup for testing was found to have been setup incorrectly. I remembered eyeballing the exact spot that was set incorrectly. From what I remember it was set right. How could I have messed that up? But yet I have no proof that I did it right. The one in charge doubts me and I start to doubt myself too.

And then I receive an email with this song and these lyrics speak straight to my heart.

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now


It doesn't matter what you I've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I am only human and I cannot avoid failures.
God reminds me
"Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try"
Even though I'm discouraged and doubtful of the outcome, there is no excuse to not try.
Life is so much more than this setback.

Thank you God for your reminder that you continue to love me when I fail.